My friend's wedding was held at the Officer's club at one of the Naval bases here. It was a nice venue on the beach. At one point during the reception, I went to the bathroom with my sisters to gossip. There was a rustic Italian theme in the bathroom. It was surprisingly designed really pretty. If you know military facilities, then you know that they rarely capture any essence of class in their interior design. I was a bit shocked by it until I noticed that there were signs with Italian sayings above each toilet.
This first one is a bit confusing to me. I know Italian and Spanish are similar languages, but I thought this was strictly a Spanish phrase. According to Google I'm right, but who knows. I speak neither language.
"My house is your house."
You know, if your house is a toilet.
This next one really grossed me out.
"Eat, eat!"
Ew. I don't wanna eat here or think about eating here.
I guess they did capture the essence of class. Even if it was classy with a 'K.'
I made cupcakes for my good friend's bachelorette party. Not just any old cupcakes. I mean it's a bachelorette party. The cupcakes have to be perverted somehow. So I made fondant penises to put on top of them. While I was making them, I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the cupcake. I was thinking of just hot pink icing swirled on and a penis plopped on top or maybe making fondant torsos and making the cupcake look like it's a magnified picture of a man's area. The design I ended up with was probably better and easier.
*Depending on what your workplace thinks, the rest of this may be NSFW.
We had a ridiculously fruitful Halloween. There are three gallon size Ziploc bags filled to the brim with candy, sitting in the kitchen cupboard. We only went down one street in our neighborhood. Many people gave extra candy to our kids. Maybe I'm biased but I'm thinking it was their adorable costumes.
So I never blog anymore. I notice that all the things I want to broadcast to the world fit within 140 characters, so I'm doing a lot of Twittering. Recently, something happened that is worth me getting over my blog laziness.
I have always been a fan of Jakob Dylan. If you don't know who that is, he's the lead singer of The Wallflowers. They are currently on a 42 city tour and out of all of their shows, only three are free. One of those free shows was here in Virginia Beach. Since Jakob Dylan and I are in a long distance relationship, whether he knows that or not, I had to go to the show to give my support.
We got to the venue, which was right on the boardwalk, about twenty minutes before the opening band came on. We chose a spot to sit off to the side of the stage but we were still pretty close. I could tell the opening band was on their last couple of songs so Josh and I headed up to the stage where a handful of other people had been standing to claim their front row spot.
We waited for the band to break down and for the Wallflowers to set up. Finally, he came out on stage. I know I've seen famous people in person before, I just don't really remember who. I don't get starstruck. I have a very classy phrase I say to myself whenever I start to get intimidated and that is, "They shit too." This time though, I couldn't even think. I was utterly starstruck and probably drooling. I had a great spot right up front and I stared Jakob Dylan down hoping to catch eyes with him if even for a second. Something much greater than that happened though.
I had my DSLR around my neck and didn't go picture crazy because I didn't want to be rude. I took most of my pictures between songs and when he was singing while looking in another direction. It seemed pointless though since everyone was flashing cameras in his face. I guess i just didn't want to add to the rudeness.
They started up, One Headlight and while Jakob Dylan is singing the first verse, he looks at me. Right into my eyes. He's giving me that coy smile of his that makes all the girl's swoon and gives me eyebrows. At that point, I pretty much blacked out. I did see him motion for me to take a picture. Without breaking my gaze from him, I fumbled with my lens cap and turned my camera on. As I did that, he said, "It would be my honor, please." Of course I didn't learn this until later. My mind was mush. After he's done professing his obvious love to me, Josh said something about how it was his honor I took the picture and I was all, ok Josh, whatever. I didn't realize he was telling me what he said. I thought Josh was trying to make me feel good. If you don't believe that, you can watch the following video. Another fan that was there that night posted them. I am so grateful to her because if it weren't for me actually seeing it on video, I wouldn't have believed it happened. He starts staring at me at the 20 second mark and doesn't stop until about the 40 second mark. People! That's 20 whole seconds of Jakob Dylan and I staring into each other's eyes. I pretty much orgasmed at the thought of it.
I watched it a million times and didn't notice and it took Josh watching it once to see that Jakob Dylan asked me if I got it. I swear, my mind is mush when it comes to him. I don't even know if I answered him. I probably just stood their smiling like an idiot up at him and hopefully he just took that as a yes. The real answer though, no, unfortunately I didn't get the shot. At least not in focus. I was way too flustered to focus my camera properly. Those stage lights sure came in clear though. I could punch myself for screwing this up.
I did get some other great shots though:
After the show we stood outside their tour bus to meet them. I had always heard that Jakob Dylan is really great about meeting fans and taking pictures. At first everyone, except Jakob Dylan, came out to meet fans. I thought that was cool of him to let his bandmates go out first so he wouldn't get all the attention. After making small talk with all the Wallflowers, Jakob Dylan stepped off his tour bus and I actually shrieked like a fucking moron. Luckily, it wasn't loud and only Josh heard it. But still.
I waited patiently for my turn to get a picture. I had him sign my CD. (Also, if you like acoustic guitar and really great lyrics, get his solo CD Seeing Things. You will not regret it.) When I asked him to sign it, my voice almost disappeared and I managed to squeak out, "Can you please sign this?" and handed it to him. I felt like such a dumbass. I asked for a picture and he put his arm around me and pressed his face against mine. It was so surreal. The flash on the camera starts sputtering and Jakob Dylan and I realized the lens cap was on. We told Josh and I thought, "What the hell is he thinking." While Josh got the lens cap off, Jakob Dylan stood up a bit, since he was crouching a little to get face level with me. He didn't take his arm off me but instead, rubbed my back! Yeah, looky there, just orgasmed again. Josh took our picture and afterward, Jakob Dylan made a witty yet not mean joke at Josh's expense. I don't really remember the exact wording. Mushy mind and all.
As we were walking to the car Josh asks me, "So, did you like that lens cap trick?" I asked him what he was talking about and he said he left the lens cap on deliberately so I could have a few extra seconds with Jakob Dylan. I married the most awesome man ever. Well right after Jakob Dylan.
Ok, here's a tiny confession. I'm not going to say how I know this, but see that shirt I'm wearing in the picture? Well the part that is under Jakob Dylan's arm, smells like, well, hard working man. As soon as I smelled it, I freaked out that I smelled bad around Jakob Dylan. I immediately smelled the other side and I couldn't smell anything. I realized that it would be weird for my BO to get to the shoulder of my shirt. Also, this smell was definitely foreign. I may have smelled it a few more times. You know, just to make sure. Stop judging me.
Anyways, there it is. The reason I have come back to blogging. My boyfriend, Jakob Dylan.
We had a delightful Christmas at our house this year.
A couple days ago we decorated cookies.
Then we went and visited Santa. Gavin's only concern was his free candy cane. He saw Santa three times this year at different events and each time he received a candy cane. He only knows Santa as the Keeper of the Canes. So he's always excited to see him. Maggie of course did major shit flipping because *gasp* her parents weren't the ones who were holding her.
Christmas Eve we let the kids open one present each. Which were actually two but I wrapped them as one. (We love the That's not my... books.) We then read them The Christmas Story about that Jesus guy and of course, The Night Before Christmas.
The next morning we found that the cookies we left out,
seemed to be enjoyed by Santa.
He left Gavin and Maggie quite the haul this year.
I have to admit that most of the stuff the kids got was given to them by overzealous grandparents.
Gavin's favorite gift this year was his pretend kitchen that my mom got the kids. Back when she visited last September, she had me help her look for a play kitchen. She wanted my approval on size and such since Josh and I were the ones who would have to deal with it. It has been sitting in a huge box in Maggie's room for three months waiting to fulfill its duties of housing plastic food. It took two hours to open presents because Gavin had a dire need to pretend to eat said plastic food. "I just have to cook!" he would tell us when we asked him to open more presents. Here he is pretending to get a drink of water.
Other than Maggie popping her first tooth on Christmas day, my favorite gift was a new lens that Josh got me for my DSLR. Here are some of my favorite pictures from Christmas morning.
When I told Josh what it was that I wanted in a lens, I used very professional photography lingo and said that I wanted it "blurry behind the subject." I put one on my Amazon wishlist that I thought would do that but my ADD makes it hard for me to focus on reading about stuff that I have almost no knowledge of. Josh researched everything and turns out I did pick a good lens.
I think my New Year's resolution will be to write here more often. If I checked in here as often as I do Facebook, there would never be any old posts on the homepage.
We've been very busy getting the house together for our move in two and a half weeks. We're taking a lot with us in a U-Haul trailer so there has been a lot of list making and such. We won't have most of our stuff until we move into a permanent residence and that could take up to six months. Determined not to move all the crap we don't want, we've been giving away and throwing out a ridiculous amount of stuff. I finally got rid of my jeans from middle school. I think it's safe to say that my post-pregnancy body will never fit into those again.
I used to be a complete pack rat. Like almost a hoarder except less messy and less willing to hold on to stupid things like old bank statements. Gavin came along and started to take up space with all of his accessories. I quickly learned what I needed and didn't need. Then Maggie was born and took over the last room of the house where we put stuff we didn't know what to do with. Now if I don't see myself using something within a year, I toss it. I wonder how many kids I would have to have before I turn into a minimalist.
A little update on the kids:
Gavin is amazing us every day with his speech. His newest thing is to randomly tell us, "I'm being such a good boy!" Which only seems to raise our suspicions that he's trying to hide something. Although sometimes he has a hard time pronouncing words. Last week I gave him his lunch and he scrunched up his face and said, "What a bunch of ball sacks." I was slightly offended and then wondered where he even learned that. I quickly realized that he couldn't possibly be saying that. I asked him to repeat himself many times and I still heard, "What a bunch of ball sacks." Finally on what had to be the tenth time he repeated it, he pointed to the peaches on his plate and said very slowly, "What vegetable is that?" Ahh, my two year old wasn't insulting my cooking after all.
Maggie has recently learned to stand and she's cruising everywhere. She just turned ten months old and the girl still has no teeth. I'm starting to wonder if she was even born with any. She's still very skiddish with new people. We went to Josh's work holiday party and everyone that tried to hold her got rewarded with the saddest pouty face ever followed by a deafening howl. We never see her cry like that. She's all giggles and smiles at home. I think we need to get her out more.
I voted today. Did you vote? I hope so. After Josh and I voted we asked for our "I Voted" stickers and our polling place said they weren't giving them out. I guess our tiny town was too cheap to buy them. We were kind of pissed. On the other hand because we do live in such a small town, there was no line to vote.
After we voted we went to Starbucks and Krispy Kreme for our free stuff. If my candidate doesn't win, (I know he will.) then at least I got a free doughnut.
Last Wednesday was spent baking four dozen cupcakes. Thursday was spent decorating the cupcakes for Josh's work party that night. Never want to decorate another cupcake in my life.
I don't know what those candy eyeballs tasted like but the smell led me to believe they tasted like little balls of gelatinous high-fructose corn syrup.
Friday night we took the kids Trick-or-Treating. Maggie was so tired through the whole thing that she only wanted to be held (and of course she only wanted me to hold her) and Gavin wanted to walk the entire time. So I spent the night pushing an empty sit and stand stroller with one hand while holding Maggie. I'm still sore.
Gavin went as Frankenstein's monster while Maggie was a ladybug.
I pray every night. I can't go to sleep until I do. I'm not part of any one religion. I believe in God and an afterlife. I believe in just being a good person. Help others when you can. Don't intentionally hurt people. You know, live life and try not to be a dick.
I pray the same way every night. I visualize the people I'm praying for. First that Gavin and Maggie have long, happy and healthy lives. Then Josh and I. Then all of our families and close friends. Then for other people who just need a prayer. Lately for some reason, I've been praying for Barack Obama. That probably sounds silly. I even thought it did. Then I saw this week's Post Secrets. This secret made my heart skip a beat:
"It's only a matter of time..."
I'll spare you all the reasons why I think this but I think Barack Obama will be one the best presidents this country as ever seen. I know he's going to win and as much as I want him to be my president, there's an equal part of me that hopes he loses so he won't lose his life. So his daughters won't lose their father. I can almost predict something bad will happen to him if he becomes president.
Sadly, I know psychopathic people that could be capable of doing something horrific like that. These people are so grossly uninformed. They think he's the anti-Christ. They think he's a terrorist. They think he's Muslim. As ignorant as those accusations are, the Muslim one bothers me the most. As if all Muslims are terrorists. It's like saying, "Oh, you're a Christian? You must be a Skin Head or part of the KKK." The ignorance is suffocating.
I'm realizing that the more ignorant the person, the more guns they own. I am NOT saying all gun owners are ignorant, just that the ignorant seem to own way too many guns. Automatic weapons that they show off on their personal websites where they call Senator Obama the n-word and say his wife is a "ghetto bitch" while praising Cindy McCain as a classy lady that doesn't talk and ruin things for her husband. Yes, Michelle Obama is quite ghetto with her Yale and Harvard degrees. Oh and Cindy McCain would be so awesome as a first lady. A known thief and drug addict turned Stepford Wife. I know I want my first lady to be a woman who has no opinion her husband didn't tell her to have. Please. Not to mention John McCain air quoting the fact that some woman can actually die if they don't end their pregnancies. As if that's an excuse women give so they can go through a heartbreaking procedure. Please read this if you haven't already. But I'm getting off topic.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope Barack Obama becomes president, has a safe eight years in office and goes on to live a long and happy life after his presidency. Please, God, don't let anything tragic happen to this man who was obviously born to be president. Amen.
