Mother Hoodwink

I'm kind of a liar...

When Gavin wants something that we can't accommodate or we just don't want to give him, we tell him that object is broken. He accepts that way better than us just saying no. Oh you want to watch Cars again? Sorry it's broken. How about a movie that Mama isn't highly annoyed by? Your talking toy car isn't talking? Must be broken. Maybe daddy can fix it when he gets home. (By "fix" I mean flip the switch on the bottom to the on position.)

This morning Gavin was looking out the window and ran to me and said he saw a "crawl." I asked him many times what he saw and he kept saying "crawl." Wondering what the hell he was talking about, I looked out the window and realized he was saying "squirrel." He then said, "Need to go outside and see the crawl." I told him that Maggie was napping. Maybe later today. He replied with a downtrodden, "Oh. Outside is broken."

Turns out I'm an asshole mother.

Gavin's Words

Gavin has such a hard time falling asleep last night. We have a childproof doorknob thing on the inside of his bedroom door. I've heard that we're being cruel for having one on the inside of his door. "What if there's a fire?!" Uh, the last thing I need is a two year running around the house when there is a fire. Unless the fire starts in his room, then I think we're being the opposite of cruel and thinking about Gavin's safety. Also, do not need him getting up before us only to get into the knives in the dishwasher. My point?

Anyway, when he wakes up he'll knock on his bedroom door until we come to him. Some nights he'll do this after we put him to bed for the night. Usually it's because he just found a minuscule amount of pee so he'll need to sit on the toilet for ten minutes all the while smiling because he's not in bed.

Last night he just wanted some cuddles. Four times. The last time I went in there, this was our conversation:

Me: Bud, you need to go to sleep. Get in bed.

Gavin after being tucked in (again): When I wake up I get a treat.

Notice he proclaimed this and didn't ask.

Me: Uh, ok.

Gavin: When I wake up I get a doughnut.

About three weeks ago I got him to take his nap without any whining by telling him that when he woke up he could have a piece of doughnut. I was shocked he remembered.

Me: Umm, maybe. (We have no doughnuts in the house so I didn't want to lie to him.)

After that it was a machine gun of requests that he didn't even give me a chance to answer.

When I wake up I get a party. When I wake up I get a birthday party. When I wake up I get a salad. When I wake up I get a juice box. When I wake up I get a movie. When I wake up I get a Cars (the movie). When I wake up I get a car ride. When I wake up I get a fan.

I stopped him on that one. "A fan?" I ask him. He points up to his ceiling fan and says, "Yeah! A fan!"

"Whatever, dude. Go to sleep."

**********

I'm sort of obsessed with teaching Gavin manners. When I was 16 I went to a family reunion and my cousin's two year old daughter was saying please and thank you at all the right moments. I thought it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. I vowed to teach my kids manners at a young age.

For the most part Gavin says please, thank you, excuse me and bless you when someone sneezes or yawns. There are moments where he'll forget. Yesterday after he got himself situated on the toilet he pointed towards the door and told me "Go!"

I told him he said that very rudely and he needs to be more polite.

He pointed towards the door and said, "May I... please... go?"

Probably should start teaching him the difference between you, me and I.

Uh...

Our trip was nice. The kids did a lot better than I expected. Maggie especially. She loved looking out the window and she slept a lot. On to a totally unrelated topic...

Please, someone, tell me this site is not real. Seriously, please.

Going on a trip.

We're leaving this morning to visit with my dad and step-mom for the weekend. They live in Florida so we're meeting halfway in Alabama. Only four hours away but it's going to be the first semi-long car ride Maggie has been on and the first one Gavin has had in a long time. Hopefully I brought enough snacks and toys to keep Gavin quiet and Maggie will sleep the entire time. If not, maybe on the way out I can stop by my doctor's office and get a prescription for Valium for myself.

Don't mess with a military man!

Yesterday while on Facebook I commented on a friend's status and mentioned that I voted for Obama. A girl I do not know began to tell me how unpatriotic I was for voting for a "Musilm who is working from the outside in of our country." I informed her I was a Navy wife so I know my patriotism is firmly intact. In response she said this:

I'll be going to Heaven, unlike you and the others who voted for the antichrist for President.
You're an idiot.
And being a "navy wife" doesn't mean you're IN the navy or doing anything to support the country.

She wrote so much more that is so not worth repeating. The average "Obama is a terrorist!" bull shit. Josh saw everything she wrote and the thing that offended him most was the part about Navy wives doing nothing for the country.

What Josh wrote back to her brought me to tears. I love him more than any words could say. Here is what he wrote:

I usually don't do things like this, but you were incredibly offensive to both myself and to my wife when you messaged her.  I understand that politics can get a little heated, but there is no reason for you to stoop so low to the ignorant comments like you did.

You are offensive.

You told my wife that just because she is a Navy spouse, that she doesn't do anything for the country. I beg to differ, and I do so very loudly.  If you knew anything about military service, then you would know that the role of the military spouse is one of the most honored and revered that can be held. It is a life that few are strong enough to endure, and requires sacrifices that few will ever know.

For one moment, please think about this: Which is a bigger sacrifice? Which causes more pain? Giving your life in the defense of our country, or receiving a letter in the mail that tells you coldly that your husband is DEAD. That he will never return home and that you will need to live the rest of your life with nothing more than the knowledge that "he died for his country." Personally? I would rather be shot than to deal with that kind of pain. If you can't see that, then you truly are a heartless, worthless, uncaring monster. If you truly feel the same way after thinking about this, then I would just assume remove the "antichrist" label that you so quickly and ignorantly placed on our new President and place it squarely on your chest. The empty place where your heart should be.

Do not ever tell the spouse of a service member that they do not sacrifice or give to our country. You know nothing and should not have the right to say these things.  I hate your ignorance, and hate that you are allowed to say such hurtful things to people that mean so much to others.

The bible should teach you that your tongue is the most powerful weapon you have. Please have cautious thought before you unleash such a weapon.

Do not bother contacting me, I am not interested in hearing what your forked tongue has to say.

This needs to be embroidered on a pillow.

Edited to add the Navy Wife Facebook group I posted in: Click Here

Here is the young lady's (I use the word 'lady' loosely.) Facebook page where you can message her too: Click Here

Time for a Change

I have never been more proud to be an American than I am right now.

I voted and all I got was this doughnut and coffee.

I voted today. Did you vote? I hope so. After Josh and I voted we asked for our "I Voted" stickers and our polling place said they weren't giving them out. I guess our tiny town was too cheap to buy them. We were kind of pissed. On the other hand because we do live in such a small town, there was no line to vote.

After we voted we went to Starbucks and Krispy Kreme for our free stuff. If my candidate doesn't win, (I know he will.) then at least I got a free doughnut.

Halloween

Last Wednesday was spent baking four dozen cupcakes. Thursday was spent decorating the cupcakes for Josh's work party that night. Never want to decorate another cupcake in my life.

I don't know what those candy eyeballs tasted like but the smell led me to believe they tasted like little balls of gelatinous high-fructose corn syrup.

Friday night we took the kids Trick-or-Treating. Maggie was so tired through the whole thing that she only wanted to be held (and of course she only wanted me to hold her) and Gavin wanted to walk the entire time. So I spent the night pushing an empty sit and stand stroller with one hand while holding Maggie. I'm still sore.

Gavin went as Frankenstein's monster while Maggie was a ladybug.